A Happy You is A Happy Life

The importance of empathy

How stress affects your brain

5 Steps to Happiness

You Are Unstoppable

I wanted to share this with you because the speeches in it got me thinking for the better. It was exactly what I was needing. This goes so much deeper than equestrianism. Even if you're not into horses, just listen.. & Yes, I made this video, but I do not own the clips or audio.

Posted by Kaitlyn Brooke on Wednesday, December 9, 2015

A Very Happy Brain

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IQ vs. EQ with Daniel Goleman

The Happy Secret to Better Work

Posts tagged hope

Please Be Patient With Me and Stay My Friend



my_idea_of_a_good_friend3-250x160What I cannot do while I grieve…
 
I cannot ‘get over it’ or ‘buck up’ – I know it may be very uncomfortable for you to see me this way.  I am grieving and mourning and my emotions are all over the place.  My loss is all I see right now with no peripheral vision.  Please be patient with me and stay my friend.
 
I cannot ‘go back to my old self’ – That self has been changed forever. There will be some characteristics and traits that will journey with me.  Everything that defined who I was before this loss has been altered, shattered and changed.  Please be patient with me and stay my friend.
 
I cannot ‘believe this was God’s will” – Right now I am in too much pain.  I am confused.  I am frustrated.  I am searching for answers.  I am trying to make sense.  I am asking ‘why’ and ‘what if’ and saying ‘if only’.  Please be patient with me and stay my friend.
 
I cannot ‘be strong’ – Some days it takes every ounce of energy to just get out of bed or get the kids dressed or on the bus. I am not being weak when I cry or don’t answer the phone every time you call.  I like it when you leave a message as I feel less alone.  Please be patient with me and stay my friend.
 
What I CAN do while I grieve…
 
I can go towards the pain and mourn.  You will find me listening to music that makes me cry.  You will find me reminiscing through pictures and I will cry.  You will find me talking about my loved one and I will cry.  You will find me telling my story many times and it will make me cry.  You see the connection between my heart and head has been severed.  My heart if feeling everything my head can’t fathom.  Thank you for being patient with me and staying my friend.
 
I can ‘be’ and ‘suspend’.  You may get frustrated with me for not accepting all of your invitations to do things.  You may be frustrated that I am not grieving the way you see fit.  You may think I am doing it all wrong.  Thank you for being patient with me and staying my friend.
 
I can honor my loved one.  I can create a scrapbook, plant a garden, keep a memory trunk, make a quilt from their clothing, celebrate their birthday, have a special ornament for the tree, release balloons, write poetry, write a book, simply say their name in conversations.  Thank you for being patient with me and staying my friend.
 
I can try new things.  You may not agree with me in my choices and you may have your own opinion on what’s right or wrong; however, it’s up to me to learn again.  My feet have to test the waters.  I have to make mistakes to learn.  Thank you for being patient with me and staying my friend.
 
I can find things to do that are therapeutic.  I can get a massage.  I can garden. I can journal.  I can read.  I can listen to music. I can plug into new circles of friends.  I can reach out for help.  Thank you for being patient with me and staying my friend.
Love and Joy,
Cynthia Gossman
You need not grieve alone. Contact me for more information. Cynthia@CynthiaGossman.com
 
Copyright – Cynthia Gossman, Grief and Relationship Coach, Life After Loss Healing Solutions, LLC

10 Ways to Overcome Setbacks, Hurts and Losses, Building Resilience



Often times when we experienced a series of setbacks, hurts, and losses it’s extremely  100_0773hard to be thankful.  Taking the focus OFF the pain, anger, and toxic thoughts and shifting it to gratitude, happiness, and joy.

BEING THANKFUL …  Here are a few tips to help you make the shift:

  1. Keep a JOY LOG – each day find three things you are happy about
  2. Find a good quality in someone you are having a difficult relationship with
  3. Laugh – go see a funny movie or read a funny tale
  4. Listen – hearing another person’s story often times puts our own story back into perspective
  5. Affirmations – your brain is going to believe what you think and what you say
  6. De-Clutter your living space
  7. Count your blessings – as small as they may be, the little ones gather together to create a big one
  8. Plug in – connect with positive people and surroundings
  9. Embrace your uniqueness as you are the most special you
  10. Believe this too shall pass

People need People – Giving back to others no matter how depleted you may feel can always lift your spirits.  This month make a point to engage in at least one of these recommended activities:

  • Visit a children’s hospital and read stories to the kids
  • Volunteer at a soup kitchen
  • Visit a nursing home and play bingo with one of the residence
  • Donate items to a shelter
  • Bring a meal to a friend

My wish for you is much love and sunshine in your souls and peace and joy in your hearts.

Love and JOY,

Cynthia

Look For The Pony



ponyblogThere were two little boys quite opposite of each other.  One day both of the boys were given a circumstance of life and the people observed. (story improvised from original version)

The first little boy stood skeptically in the doorway of the room full of toys not sure if he should enter. But with a little prodding and hearing, “Go on in, they are all yours”, he finally walked over the first toy. What happened next shocked and stunned the people. Instead of playing gleefully the little boy systematically opened every single package in the room and rejected each of the toys in turn. The people heard him whining: “These aren’t like my toys at home. These toys will never work. Where are the video games! “It’s hot in here. I don’t have any friends to play with.”  The complaining went on and on until soon, exhausted from his own negativity, he sat down in the middle of the room and with a big pout on his face he angrily shouted “I’m bored and I want to go home.”

The people had been so mesmerized by this display of pessimism and negativity that they had almost forgotten about the second little boy who had been place in the room full of manure. They quickly shifted their attention to the second room and peering through the observation window, were stopped in their tracks. They had expected to see the little boy sitting on the pile sad and crying. But instead, he was standing on top of the pile wildly shoveling horse manure. To the amazement of the people, he was animated, excited, alive, and happy. He kept digging and digging and shouting with glee. He was covered with manure from head to toe and he was ecstatic. The people looked at one another in awe – the child seemed delirious.

The people opened the door to the room and tried to get the boy’s attention.  However, he was so focused on digging that it took a few minutes to get his attention. Finally the boy stopped what he was doing, turned around, and faced the people. Looking with amazement at the manure covered child one of the people asked, “Son, what in the world are you doing?” With that question, a huge grin crossed the boy’s face and with the same enthusiasm he had given to digging he replied, “Sir, with all this manure I just know there is pony in here somewhere and I’m going to find him!”  With that he turned around and started digging.

Two Power Principles for Finding Your Pony

Choose Your Focus: In every circle of influence there are some people who use their time and energy complaining about their circumstances and others who are carrying shovels looking for ponies. The only difference between these two groups is the choices that they make about how they respond to their circumstances. It is difficult, if not impossible, to control what life, friends, family, work, or society throw at us. Sometimes what we get is fantastic and sometimes it is a pile of horse poop. However, it is completely in our control to find opportunity in each situation and instead of complaining, dig.

Get a Pep Talk: We all have bad days and we all get crapped on from time to time, and though it is easy to write that you have the power to choose your attitude, it is much harder to do it when you feel like circumstances are not on your side. As growing human beings, leaders, matriarchs, parents, WE ALL require a pep talk as much as any other person. When in these situations it is hard to see the forest for the trees or perhaps the pony for the manure. Surrounding yourself with successful optimistic people is the cure.

Love and JOY, Cynthia

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Great Books

"The Gift of Change - Spirtual Guidance for a Radically New Life"
by Marianne Williamson

"The Best Year Of Your Life - dream it.plan it.live it"
by Debbie Ford

"The Aladdin Factor"
by: Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

"What is Your WHAT?"
by: Steve Olsher

"The Slight Edge"
by: Jeff Olson

"Wherever You Go There You Are"
by: Jon Kabat-Zinn

"Play - How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul"
by: Stuart Brown, MD with Christopher Vaughan

"The Tools - Transform Your Problems Into Courage, Confidence, and Creativity"
by: Phil Stutz and Barry Michels

"Unglued - Making Wise Choices In The Midst Of Raw Emotions"
by: Lysa Terkeurst

"Excuses Begone! - How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits"
by: Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

"Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway"
by: Susan Jeffers, Ph.D

"MAKE MONEY Not Excuses - Wake Up, Take Charge, and Overcome Your Financial Fears Forever"
by: Jean Chatzky

"Who Moved My Cheese?"
by: Spencer Johnson, M.D.

"What's Worth Knowing"
by: Wendy Lustbader

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