Posts in category Personal Development
15 Ways to Find Healing in Suffering – Embrace, Engage, and Connect
To heal healthily and most effectively one must allow the emotions and thoughts to be felt and expressed while your head and heart have become temporarily disconnected. Losing someone very close and dear to you is going to hurt. There is no way around it, over it, or under it; you must go THROUGH it. The more intense the love was, the more painful the loss will be.
- Allow yourself to feel. A slew of emotions are swirling together and you may find it very suffocating. Allow yourself to embrace, engage and connect with these emotions. Surrender and weep, scream, punch a pillow. Then just breathe. In and out.
- Allow yourself to think. Your world has changed. Your plans for your future have changed. Your meaning of life has changed.
- Allow yourself to talk. Telling your story helps process the loss and bridge the gap disconnection between your head and heart.
- Allow yourself to write it down. Get a notebook and write down emotions and thoughts. Get them out of your heart and head. Do not worry about grammar, spelling, punctuation etc.
- Allow yourself to emotionally and sometimes physically distance yourself from the naysayers and negative people.
- Allow yourself to listen to music. Listen to instrumental lullabies, classical, contemporary, alternative music. There is healing in music.
- Allow yourself to meditate with the flickering flame of a candle or fireplace. Become mesmerized into a spiritual trance to connect with Spirit.
- Allow yourself to submerge in a warm bath with Epson salt to release the toxins.
- Allow yourself to have your faith and beliefs to be unclear. Allow yourself to visit a different church. Allow yourself to be mad at God. This too shall pass.
- Allow yourself to pamper yourself with a massage for deep relaxation.
- Allow yourself to nap. Sleep patterns are disrupted. Grief work and mourning are exhausting.
- Allow yourself to eat something nutritious. Church family may be able to provide a meal.
- Allow yourself to drink extra water to keep your energy up and body from dehydration.
- Allow yourself to ask for help and to accept help. You are low on energy. Ask a neighbor to mow the grass for you. Ask if another parent can take over the carpool. Ask a friend to help you pick up groceries. Ask for help with the kids. Your friends and loved ones in the neighborhood and church don’t know what to do for you.
- Allow yourself to seek emotional help. You need not grieve alone.
I wish you peace and happiness in your hearts, love and joy in your souls.
Love & Joy,
Emotional Wellness & Balance Center www.CynthiaGossman.com 757-635-5379
I’ve been using the law of attraction with my Create Your Beautiful Life Vision Board Workshops for years. Many celebrities and athletes as well as successful business leaders believe in this exercise of visualization and the principles behind the ‘law of attraction’. How you FEEL is WHAT you are going to ATTRACT. Our emotional wealth is vitally important. picture source:http://justgoodvibe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/law-of-attraction-4.jpg
I share this article from business insider that sites the 12 ways the ‘law of attraction’ can improve your life.
12 Ways The ‘Law Of Attraction’ Can Improve Your Life
Psychologists, New Age thinkers and religious leaders have been talking about the Law Of Attraction for years, though it gained popularity again when the book “The Secret” made waves in 2006. The law is simply this: We attract whatever we think about, good or bad. Oprah is a fan of the law and devoted an episode of her show to how it could change lives. Whether or not you believe in the power of the universe, there is scientific research that proves the effects of positive thinking.
We’ve highlighted the most compelling elements from one of the most popular books on the topic, The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham, by Esther and Jerry Hicks.
1. You attract good or bad experiences based on your thoughts.
“The one who speaks most about illness has illness. The one who speaks about prosperity has prosperity,” Esther and Jerry Hicks write. “You attract all of it.” By focusing on something, you make it happen.
2. Thinking about something means you invite it in, even if you don’t want it.
“When you think a little thought of something that you want, through the Law of Attraction, that thought grows larger and larger, and more and more powerful,” according to the book. So keep your thoughts positive.
3. The more you focus on something, the more powerful it becomes.
This allows you to create your own reality by “attracting” the experiences you want to have. You probably brought bad things upon yourself by worrying about them, according to the laws described in the book.
4. It’s better to trust your emotions than over-think a decision.
In other words: Listen to your intuition. Instead of overthinking your choices, let your emotions guide you toward what is right and what is wrong. This will result in a more satisfying life.
5. You can make good things happen more quickly by thinking about them more…
“Want” and “desire” consist of wanting “to focus attention, or give thought toward a subject, while at the same time experiencing positive emotion. When you give your attention to a subject and you feel only positive emotion about it as you do so, it will come very quickly into your experience,” the Hicks write.
6. To make a change, you’ve got to see things as you hope them to be, not as they are.
This is something that successful people know about. It’s also called visualization. Michael Phelps spoke about picturing himself winning every night before bed.
“In order to effect true positive change in your experience, you must disregard how things are — as well as how others are seeing you — and give more of your attention to the way you prefer things to be,” the book says.
7. You can increase your magnetic power by devoting time to “powerful thinking.” each day.
Spend 15 minutes every day thinking hard about your goals, dreams and what you want from life. The Hicks say this increases your chances for success.
8. Success isn’t a finite resource; everyone can have it.
Others being successful doesn’t limit your success. And by attracting abundance to yourself, you are not limiting another, according to the book.
9. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in disappointment.
Being disappointed only attracts more stuff to be upset about and is only a sign that you’re not getting what you want in life. So think about how to get what you want instead of what you don’t have.
10. Avoid TV shows that deal with negative experiences like crime or illness.
Letting this stuff in makes you think about it more and increases the odds it could happen to you. “Your attention to anything is drawing it closer to you,” they say.
11. Know that your relationships with people are bad because you made them that way.
Giving your attention to the negative can wreak havoc on personal relationships. This mentality can help free us from bad relationships with relatives or a spouse. “Nothing can come into your experience without your personal attraction to it,” they say.
12. Don’t worry about what you’re dreaming; instead use your dreams as a guide.
Dreams might provide some insight into the psyche, but you’re not in the process of “creating” while you’re asleep, the book says.
Cheers to your success and happiness as you incorporate the law of attraction into your lifestyle.
Love and JOY,
A Happy You ~ A Happy Life
Emotional Wellness & Balance Center
Why IQ isn’t everything and the role EQ plays in doing and being well in life.
The Ventilation Fallacy
Don’t Ruminate When You Are Sad, Distract Yourself Instead
The Artful Critique
For more information on emotional intelligence and to schedule your complimentary strategy session contact
Cynthia Gossman, Emotional Wellness & Balance Center
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Has the emotional garbage in your life hardened you? Are you aware?
‘Soft skills’ is not a representation of begin soft. ‘Soft skills’ is a term often associated with a person’s “EQ” (Emotional Intelligence Quotient), the cluster of personality traits, social graces, communication, language, personal habits, interpersonal skills, managing people, leadership, etc. that characterize relationships with other people.
How’s that emotional garbage in your life working for you?
Many high-potential leaders are derailed because they lack emotional awareness, emotion management, and appropriate interpersonal social skills such as the ability to work in teams and a tolerance for change.
Do you know your EQ emotional intelligence quotient?
Guessing is NOT an accurate or effective way of determining your level of EQ. Many relationships will be taxed while not knowing the areas that could be improved.
How is EQ measured?
The EQ-i® is the first scientifically validated emotional intelligence tool in the world.” ~ It is a highly actionable tool for: personal, professional, leadership, team or organization development” – MHS Multi Health Systems Publisher
CG Coaching & Consulting Emotional Wellness and Balance Center is licensed and certified to administer the EQ-i2.0 and EQ360 assessment tools AND provide state of the art training and coaching to help you achieve your peak performance.
Love and JOY,
Joy Restoration Coaching Happiness
” . . .We’ve recently compiled two years of new research that, we suspect, will elicit the same kind of reaction. People will first exclaim, “No way,” then quickly add, “But of course.” We found that of all the elements affecting bottom-line performance, the importance of the leader’s mood and its attendant behaviors are most surprising. That powerful pair set off a chain reaction: The leader’s mood and behaviors drive the moods and behaviors of everyone else. A cranky and ruthless boss creates a toxic organization filled with negative underachievers who ignore opportunities; an inspirational, inclusive leader spawns acolytes for whom any challenge is surmountable. The final link in the chain is performance: profit or loss.”
Want to improve your leadership? CG Coaching & Consulting offers LeadYourShip Training including the EQ-i and EQ360 assessments. Cynthia@CynthiaGossman.com; www.CynthiaGossman.com;
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What does EQ have to do with managing change?
If you can create awareness of the way you respond to life events, such as change, and manage your response to the event you’re well on your way to effectively managing change.
You’ve heard the saying, ‘It’s not what happens that matters but how you respond to it that really counts’, increasing awareness is a vital key in managing how you respond.
EQ gives you the awareness and mindfulness you need to increase your ability to distinguish between the event that happens, and the way you respond to it. Simply being aware of your response means you can make changes that benefit you. Being emotionally intelligent allows you to manage your emotions such as anger, anxiety, frustration, and fear which in turn relieves stress in your life.
So, what does it mean to be emotionally intelligent?
EI has been coined by Daniel Goleman in 1995 the theory emphasizes the importance of awareness, control and management of our emotions and the emotions of other people.
The skills, sometimes referred to as learned competencies, are recognized as the fundamentals to success in leadership to your ability to manage life’s curve balls – often defined as change. We are creatures of habit and naturally resist change. EQ gives you the tools needed to welcome change effectively.
Being emotionally intelligent includes the following abilities:
- Self Awareness: The ability to recognize and understand feelings and emotion, and the ability to understand your responses to situations and other people’s actions.
- Self-Management: The ability to choose how we think, how we feel, the actions we take, and to motivate ourselves; also known as self-regulation.
- Social Awareness: The ability to recognize and understand the feelings and emotions of others. This includes skills in empathy.
- Relationship Management: The ability to express your emotions and to communicate effectively.
These skills can be learned – and used well can help you manage change and achieve success in life.
Take an EQ-i2.0 self-assessment to discover your strengths and areas requiring development. Contact Cynthia Gossman, Emotional Intelligence Expert and Facilitator today, firstname.lastname@example.org or 757-635-5379.
Cynthia Gossman, Your Personal JOY Restoration Coach